THE CICAK.com

WRITE IT 2006: Coming out of the idealistic closet

By DAVINA GOH

If you want to vote for Davina Goh (and this article) for the People’s Choice Award, click here.

When I was a teen, I remember my family giving my grandma a visit at the nursing home and picking up a water bottle that one of the old folks had dropped. During the drive back home I was lambasted, as usual, by my father for being too helpful; he said it was a very detrimental trait to have.

At an age when everything your parents say constitutes the Book of Universal Knowledge, I absorbed every word. I hated it because it took a lot of energy to try and comprehend, and it further compounded my hate towards myself for being so “wrong” about the way I think.

My passive conviction however remained unyielding right until five years later, when I had heard about an international NGO organising a fundraising event that involved the act of fasting for 30 hours. I knew I wanted to participate but didn’t know how to get away with it.

Eventually, my parents slept in the peaceful knowledge that I was frolicking at a friend’s slumber party just a stone’s throw away, while I was in reality learning about the lives of underprivileged children around Asia and beyond and experiencing firsthand a relatively brief example of what it’s like to go hungry.

The realisation that I had to lie to my parents in order to do charity forced me to finally sense the horrendous conditions of my upbringing. I could have easily turned out a much more apathetic person, had it not been for the hardiness of my values. What about other people in similar shoes who might have crumbled under such mental oppression? How many young potential philanthropists have been denied the right to benevolence and, as a vicious consequence, been kidded into practicing selfishness as a virtue?

The Malaysian - and perhaps overall Asian - attitude of “every man for himself” is reflected everywhere, from the unspoken flouting of the priority seating rule on public transport, to the plastic bag-wielding hordes at free buffets. People even give you bizarre looks when you show the smallest display of generosity, a cross between “that’s quite silly of you to burden yourself,” and “so you’re trying to prove that you’re better than us?”

In a society where outward goodwill has been demoted to a mere gimmick, even the tender-hearted underdog must be wary of where they place every footstep when it comes to supporting each other. What was previously their independent meadow of trust is now a landmine field. I wouldn’t blame them for feeling disillusioned and even to a certain extent ashamed of their purported naïveté.

Many have sought refuge on the Internet, a medium which provides a much subtler, yet more magnificent, impact. People post up online petitions, blog about their passions and forward e-mails to spread awareness. If one is fortunate, these notices will catch the attention of fellow “closet idealists,” perhaps a few who didn’t know such like-minded individuals even existed.

And this is where the magic begins. Brains are picked and networking ensues. If the curiosity burns as much as the passion, personal get-togethers are organised, and with the assertive voices of many, a body to be reckoned with is born.

The power of online communication is obviously apparent in this very situation you are in, reading a passage from an independent webzine that forms a significant amalgamation of what Malaysian youth have to say about their country.

I’ve often been given kudos for my initiative when it comes to animal and human rights, and I normally attribute this praise to fear of the term “activism,” which for many spells unnecessary trouble. But what these spectators should realise is that I’m no more a human being than they are, and that I also used to think all I had the power to do was watch from the sidelines until I did something as simple and innocent as dipping my toe into the blogosphere.

The older generations have fought hard to survive through the years, and therefore find it hard to see their children investing their efforts and finances into things that don’t often lead to personal gain. But I feel the irony lies in the notion that they should be prouder than they’ve ever been, as the fruits of their labor can be equated to the boom of interest in “the bigger picture,” and the new liberty of their successors to focus on things that will keep the world from spinning askew.

Hi, my name is Davina. I am a Malaysian, and at the age of 24, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I want to make a difference.

Have you?

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DAVINA GOH is an assistant event manager and moonlights in the local performing arts scene. Her character in Perantauan Pictures’ debut production S’kali was an avid contributor for theCICAK. She hopes her life will imitate art. Visit her site.

If you want to vote for Davina Goh (and this article) for the People’s Choice Award, click here.