I attacked a Sikh boy

About Society, Education, Religion, ALL ARTICLES | May 1, 2006

By FARHANA JABIR

When I was in Standard One, there was a Sikh boy in my class. I don’t remember his name but I still remember what I, and several others, did to him. The very fact that I remember something that happened 12 years ago, means something.

Kids are a curious lot and I was no exception to the rule. We were always curious why the Sikh boy wrapped his head with a scarf. We thought that there was an alien command centre hiding in his turban.

What did he keep in his turban?

Why was it so big?

We wanted to know.

One day, we forced him to unwrap his turban. When he refused, the boys pulled the turban off his head. Although I wasn’t the one who did the actual pulling, I did watch him being atacked. And I did order my peers to do it.

He started crying, and you know what we did? We actually laughed for a while, and then we left him alone. I remember patting his back and saying, “Don’t cry.” But that was pretty much it.

I never knew that it was wrong, and I kind of forgot about it until a few years ago. When you are a kid, you tend to be less sensitive, or in this case, downright vile.

It never crossed our minds to respect other people’s religion.

It was not until recently that I learned that Sikhs regard their hair as sacred. They are not allowed to remove hair from any part of their body.

That was when the guilt came crashing down. What we did was disrespectful, cruel and shameful. It was not as simple as making a little boy cry.

And I feel REALLY guilty.

I don’t remember his name and what he looked like. And I don’t know where he is right now.

If I ever meet him again, what would I say? The words, “I’m sorry,�? isn’t sufficient. It is not simple to apologise for something that I committed a decade ago. But, neither is it right to keep this incident to myself.

I feel guilty for humiliating the Sikh boy.

I feel guilty for making my friends do it.

I will never forget that incident. I will never forget him with his hair unwrapped, huddling in the corner of the class. He couldn’t stop crying.

–
FARHANA JABIR is a contributing writer for theCICAK.

Farhana is majoring in accounting at Universiti Teknologi M.A.R.A., Shah Alam. She loves President Bush’s grammar mistakes, expensive handbags and the smell of ink. Visit her site.

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19 Comments so far. Post your own comment

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you evil….you…

now, queue the guilt rush…

ehehehe

sorry, i just find your article mildly amusing, though it was a nasty thing you did to that Sikh boy, i hope that you do finally get to meet him and apologise

Comment published by cyber_tapir on 2 May 2006.
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Don’t feel guilty anymore. Negative emotions cannot bring about positive change. You’ve acknowledged your mistake, that’s a huge step toward making a difference.

Now it’s time to educate people about other’s religious sensitivities.

Teach children, and adults alike, to be kind.

Thanks for sharing.

Comment published by Poh Si on 2 May 2006.
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I agree with Poh Si. It takes a lot of courage to come out and write about such a thing. Some people have done worse and don’t feel guilty at all, or even see themselves as in the right or vindicated.

You shouldn’t wallow in guilt after this. I hope that you can (and you should) be able to find some inner peace.

Comment published by Keith Leong on 2 May 2006.
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It is very nice and brave of you to admit and post. If I was him I would forgive you and give you a hug since as children people do silly things including myself. Growing up Sikh as a child among majority non-Sikhs is not an easy thing to do, especially when even the child himself/herself sometimes does not fully comprehend the complexities of one’s faith in God when questioned.

Comment published by Manjit Singh on 4 May 2006.
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oh my god!! you are sooooo evil!!!hahaha actually i had the same feeling too when i was a kid and a gangling tall skinny sikh boy would walk pass by me. worse! i thought they kept their food there like buns and chocolate or something.haha i feel horrible..

Comment published by mas on 6 May 2006.
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Don’t carry the guilt with u anymore! It’s good enough to remember such common children act and to feel such great guilt about it? Fabulous character I say! I do seriously hope u get over it! It’s nothing that BAD, remember, u were a kid back then! So are the others. No child is normal if they are not curious!

Look at our MPs in Parliament now! They are currently like u when u were in standard one! Maybe we should check the IQ of our MPs! U have learnt while they have not! Amazing! Not u, them! Shameless! Not u again, them!

I hope u are fine k? If u need any counselling to get thru it, u can approach any counsellors in ur Uni, or psychology lecturers! I am currently majoring in psychology! It doesn’t mean u are crazy or psychotic to see one, it just says u are normal! Not getting over it and not seeking help? That may lead to maladjustments!!!

Comment published by Adam on 8 May 2006.
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aww don’t worry at least you don’t go around now doing the same thing!
YES, you feel the guilt. my friends and I always want to trick our muslim friends into eating pork. thankfully we’ve never done it. there! i said it! >.

Comment published by saran on 8 May 2006.
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You were young then, i’m sure that little boy would have understood that you did not know what you were doing. And well, at least you said,’Don’t cry’.

Don’t dwell too much on it!

Comment published by saran on 8 May 2006.
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Well, I know everyone have their own dirty little secret.
I’m glad I let it out.

Thanks, guys

Comment published by Farhana on 8 May 2006.
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hey farhana,
i did that once too when i was in pre-school (when I was around 3-5 yrs old, i think)

i felt real bad too.

Comment published by jane on 23 May 2006.
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Being honest to admit you did a mistake is very human.
Well 12 years is long time now, If you ever want to not doing a mistake to any sikh, you have to know the sikh religion and its core valus. Now that you are matured and knowlegeble , I assume you know what the religion is. For more info on sikh religion visit www.sikhism101.com Hope this will help you understand the young sikh boy which must have turn out to be a young man now.

Comment published by JagjeetSingh on 23 May 2006.
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hey that was me.

just kidding

I never have done nothing like that but I was a type of guy that would do that kind of stuff a long time ago before I became a Sikh of the Guru.You cant do anything about it now so I wouldnt worry about it.
When something like that happens to you just remember him, because what goes around comes around.It sux but its true. The only thing you can do is be kind and thoughtful to all for the rest of your life in order to shed that guilt. SatNam

Comment published by Pritam Singh Khalsa on 25 May 2006.
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Well i’m not surprised something like this could happen
i always felt deep down indians and sikhs were discriminated or picked on subtley.

The orientals have their relatives and uncles to back them up in anything
malays the government

east asians like indians, punjabis or sikhs dont really have a proper voice in this society

anyway its a pity he didnt hit your face
sikhs are usually pretty strong guys

i’m suprised on how come sepet makes it seems like the society is composed of only two warring races, the chinese and malays, what about the rest ?

Comment published by Prakash on 26 May 2006.
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OMG it took you around 10 years to feel guilty of what you did? And so your excuse would be..at least you still remember it after 12 years? The Sikh boy probably remembered you for his entire life! Gee..

Anyway, at least you feel guilty at last. Good thing indeed. Cheer up and like Tapir said.. I really hope someday you meet him so you get to apologise.

Comment published by KC on 6 June 2006.
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i agree with KC. it took you ten years to feel guilty? i remember a girl once forced me to eat bacon flavored crisp when i was in England. i still remember her name and face (but i’m not telling!). she even demanded why muslims like can’t eat pork or other non-halal food.
though, at least you’re sorry… and now you understand better about the sikh religion. i think, at the end of the day, it all comes down to respect…
*sigh*

Comment published by The Trio on 17 June 2006.
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I am a teacher in a Singapore school. Years ago, I was walking past a field and saw some men playing football. A Chinese boy from my school, about 12 years old shouted at them calling them ‘black’. Immediately, one of them caught hold of him by his neck and was about to trounce him. I was near enough by then to intervene. I asked the Indian man if he wanted the boy to remember him as the black man who had hit him or the black man who had taught him to respect other races. In his anger, he called me ‘yellow skinned’. I immediately felt insulted but realised that was how he felt when the boy called him ‘black’. I pleaded with him not to hit the boy but told him how I respected my Malay colleagues who explained to me about their culture rather than insulted me on my ignorance. He understood what I was trying to tell him and let him go. After that,I explained to the boy how his ignorance of the importance of respecting other races could have led him to….I myself experienced the racial riots when I was a small girl. Just wanted to share this with you. Thanks for your article. It was interesting.

Comment published by Geraldine on 17 September 2006.
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Well, it is the same as pulling off a female Muslim’s head vaile just because we(as in those, who do not know) are curious of why is it according to Al-Qur’an , Muslim women are obliged to cover their hair and head with a vaile.

It would be the same feeling for that boy, compare to the poor lady who’d have a bunch of people “attacking” her like that.

It’s ok. No fear. Although I’m sure that Sikh guy will take that insidence as something very very very dark in his chilhood history. ever.

need not to feel guilty now.

Comment published by dD on 12 December 2006.
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I know that Sikh’s regard their hair as sacred and never went as far as pulling a turban apart. Haha. But I’ve always wanted to see their hair minus the turban. To see their hair untied and freely dangled. Haha. I also onced ask a Sikh friend what shampoo he was using. Haha

Comment published by Eleena on 12 December 2006.
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hi, i own the domain www.sikhboy.com and i decided to google it to see if it was up in the search engines at all, (its not). But i came across this article you posted about bullying a sikh boy and taking his turban off his head due to pure curiosity.

has anyone ever told you that curiosity killed the cat?

in the dark ages in India, sikhs were persecuted by muslims, sikhs heads were chopped off and sold to the emporer Aurangzeb every day, purely because the emprorer saw the sikhs, a new religion at the time as a major threat to the stability and growth of islam in the east.

Sikhs were told to cut their hair and to convert to islam OR die by the sword. They chose the latter…

if you look at this well documented history of the sikhs, you will realise why a sikhs hair is so sacred to him/her. The sikhs hair is the source of their strength, it is god given, and is the natural form. To let it grow in its true way is the way god intended it to be, and to deny a true siikh this is to wipe away his/her dignity and faith.

I am a sikh, but not a practising sikh, as i do trim my beard, however, i’m a learning sikh, and these are one of the fundemental parts of sikhism, that life is a learning curve, and to learn something positive is always in result of doing something negative…

so for your sake FARHANA, i really do hope you have learned something positive from a very unpleasant and negative act.

regards,

SB.

Comment published by kay on 6 March 2007.
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