Mutual respect at the dining table
By JASON LIM
Youths are always filled with ideas and ideals, but not neccessarily the experience to add credence to their beliefs. If so, why bother listening to what they have to say?
As one grows older, one tends to realise that experience is not always the key to obtaining a clear conclusion on an issue. Experience can sometimes make you jaded, cynical and worse still, corrupt. In a world where political issues are seldom bipolarly black or white, the most
accurate views are usually based on the simplest of ideals and come from the most innocent perspectives.
There is always much to learn from each other. Where youths lack in knowledge of facts and historical information, they make up for it in sheer enthusiasm for the truth and a chance to be heard. The older generation may know a lot, but often they forget that knowledge is not just to be collected and stored, but to be learnt from. And therein lies a crucial truth; the older generation is always less eager to learn from lessons than youths.
If youths are so crucial to the development of ideas in societies, why are they so seldom heard?
The generation gap, even within families is an ironic thing. Even if platforms are made available for youths, they tend to shy away from the spotlight. Rather the same case as when a parent asks a child about his or her day at school, the youth will always reply in the most concise of sentences: “OK.”
However, what needs to exist is, a whole culture of mutual respect and compassion at the “dining table” of discussion, in order for true discourse to take place. Simply assuming a youth will speak when asked to speak is foolish. What do we do then?
Wait.
Wait for the one moment when the walls are let down and out of sheer desperation for release, a youth speaks straight from the heart.
And listen.
Take a moment before replying and make damned sure your reply is not condescending or that one moment, where so much trust between generations can be gained or lost, may disappear forever.
This month, this year, this house lizard, is here, now.
It was disheartening when the first response to the launch of theCICAK on JeffOoi.com, where readers are supposedly of a higher level of
intelligent open-mindedness, was a pedantic whinge about it being “just another blog” when so much else could have been critiqued.
But rest assured the youth behind theCICAK are not your everyday defiant teenagers. Our moment is not yet over.
—
JASON LIM is the assistant director of theCICAK.
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“desperation or release”, or sheer desperation for release?
loved this article. very true.
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when we - the youth - become the older generation, how will we view the youth?
when them - the older generation - were youths, how did they view the older generation?
it’s not a matter of how we - the youth - want the older generation to view us, but rather how will we view the youth when we become the so called less-eager-to-learn older generation.
prepare ourselves so that we dont repeat the same mistakes as our parents.
if the older generation had the same state of mind as us - the so called open minded younger generation - when they were young, we would not have to go through the same situation.
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There is no “us” and “they”. Would you consider Jeff Ooi to be of the older generation? You got his attention didn’t you? Don’t be cocky and trust me, the so called older generation are listening.
If they think your website is just another blog, maybe it’s because there really is something lacking. Think about it. You want their attention you have to give them what they want. Personally, I think this site has potential. Just turn it from a whining and whinging blog to something INTERESTING. Take a cue fr jeffooi.com - the postings are short yet interesting enough to make you ponder about it, it’s straight to the point, humourous, and best of all, cheeky. Hmm.. and I thought it was the young who are supposed to be cheeky..
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Don’t take it too hard or seriously.
There are people who take youths seriously and recognise them for who you are. Jeff does that.
There is also a place I once went in which the founder has high regards for youth and children. Physically the place is in France. In its cyber world the location is http://www.taize.fr .
There are others who share youthful ideal even in their old age. Do what you felt called to do.
With best regards,
Moses
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i’d like to make just 2 points.
firstly, taking the cue from leona, perhaps, in retrospect, the reason why “adults” do not always give “youths” the benefit of doubt is because it is easy to come up with dreams and ideas, but comparatively difficult to operationalise them. an idea gains more respect when it displays maturity and objective analysis coupled with strong support of facts, as well as awareness of the harsh realities. the mere use of wide sweeping criticisms and general statements isn’t going to retain anyone’s attention and respect. i tend to think of Mr Nadeswaran (of citizen Nades), Oon Yeoh, MGG Pillai and members of the Fabians as good examples of how one can write something arresting and witty. i guess it’s ok to air one’s views and concerns…but at the end of the day, we can’t be seen as just mere talking shops/machines. as a chinese scholar once said,”knowledge is the beginning of action, and action is the accomplishment of knowledge”.
secondly, to get people to notice something, it’s all about getting the right marketing strategy. TV Smith sells ideas via satire and humour. Lat communicates via witty cartoons. Jeff Ooi has his own ways. Now there is yet another weblog for Malaysians to air their views (Impianku.com). so how is cicak going to differentiate itself? it is good to ponder on this.
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It is true that youths tend to talk back at the goverment but when given the chance to speak out, no one did. In my opinion it is the fear to be under the “spotlight” and also the fear to be judged one’s point wrong that forces the youths to keep away from it. Youths these days are so afraid to lose that they even consider of not “trying” at all in the first place!
What you wrote here its so true and what can WE can do? In my opinion, only time can tell.
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leona : now THAT’s a critique.
This article was not written solely as a response to comments in JeffOoi.com. Neither was it meant to hash up a generation war. I would hope that it was instead, a rallying call for youth to take their place amongst the rest of society on the sidelines of digital activism.
As for theCICAK as a whole, give it awhile, you’ll see our personality soon enough.
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who’s jeffooi and should i care?
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Have we wondered why do youths nowadays shy away from speaking?
I can’t help but to put some blame on our education system,which doesn’t encourage students to be expressive or vocal.Very often educators like teachers in school do most of the talking while the students accept religiously whatever their teachers say.In our education culture,we are not trained to question or to be analytical of whatever we are told.
More importantly,youths-shy-away is attributed to the lack of attention that is being given to them.If A speaks and B listens,A will be encouraged to speak or at the very least continue to speak.There is attention given and respect shown.Asuming that A speaks but B doesnt listen/turn his attention to something else,it is obvious that A will stop speaking for,whether consciously or subconsciously,there is no purpose for him speaking(because no one is listening)
Imagine this scenario:You are dining with family members and your relatives.As they are eating,they bring up some issues,for instance politics,business,etc which they criticise,gossip and speculate.Being young,energetic and filled with enthusiasm,you give your view/opinion/ideas of the issue at hand.Everyone turned to look at you.Just after you finished speaking,they continued their meal(in silence) or continued their conversation,as if you have never spoken.There is no acknowlegement,no response,not even a nod.You can see that their facial expression shouting -”Kid,you know nothing.So,shut up”- Your view is being ignored totally,ab initio.How will u feel?Hurt?Embarrased?Will you be daring enough to speak again?
I have to admit that there are some truths in what hc said -that some youths displays lack of maturity,objective analysis and quick in making seeping statements.But let us not forget that there are youths out there who are aware of the harsh realities,critical of their surroundings and wanting to be part of the community.Should we not give them a chance for their voices to be heard and their ideas/opinions be considered?
Reading the article reminds me of a fiction entitled An Inspector Calls,whereby(in the 1st part of the story) Arthur Birling(the father who claims to be a practical man of business)confidently dismiss his son’s(whom i understand to be representing the younger generation) view of possibility of war.However,this possibility materialised in the year 1914-1918(WW 1) and in 1944-1945(WW 2) and became history.My point is this:the older generation,who is so-called more experienced in life(and often drowned in arrogance),may not be always right.At times,simple and stark statements made by the youths may accurately reflect the truth of a situation or a solution to a problem.
Youths want their voices to be heard by the heart,not only the ear.Is that too much to ask for?
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Hi Samuel,
It’s nice to see you posting a comment on theCICAK. It has been ages since we last analyzed “An Inspector Calls.”
It’s the dumbing of the education system.
Both sides, need to reflect - the teacher/parent and the student/child. It takes a long while to change the attitudes of both the older and younger generation.
But all is not lost.
It begins with you. By being a good parent (when you become a parent) who remembers what it was like being ignored and not taken seriously as a child.
You will end this vicious cycle by not becoming a hypocrite in the future.
As I grow older, I realize the need to reconnect with those that are younger than me. To speak their lingo, to understand their thought processes and the legitimacy of their arguments.
This is what theCICAK is striving for. We want to remain in the loop.
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hc’s second point is superb. we certaintly have to differentiate ourselves to be heard and taken seriously. i would give theCICAK a few weeks to take shape before i propose theCICAK’s unique selling proposition to pohsi, as well as how to market theCICAK well. will be posting latest developments on the forum soon enough, in the meantime, hc or anyone with anything to share regarding the marketing of theCICAK drop me an email at khaileeness at gmail dot com thanks
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To a certain extent, I agree with the article. Youths do need to be heard… my opinion is that progress comes with wanting a change, something different, something new. The problem with the older generation can sometimes be the fact that they belittle the ideals of youngsters, because they are still “immature and haven’t learnt about how the real world works”. That attitude, I cannot stand. Even if the youngster’s opinion were not as mature-sounding as people would want it to be, they SHOULD be listened to, not just shoved away like dust of an old shelf.
But of course, I also think that youths like myself are not without our issues in this context either. Sometimes the thing with us youths is that we don’t channel our opinions the right way. Instead of finding out how our voices can be heard, sometimes we just sit around and complain about it. Now that, I admit, is immature… and something I do sometimes. Haha.
So what I think is that both sides do have their own faults. If youths were idealists and the old cynics - then I have one thing to say: Idealists have nothing but illusions, cynics have nothing but the facts. It’s a matter of working together, I guess.
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I agree with Zhi Wei. In order to be heard, youths learn of the proper channels to voice our opinion. And often, sitting down at a coffee joint ranting about the injustices of life helps little in generating changes.
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