Proton, you ingrate!
Art by CHUAN CHUI
By NICHOLAS YEOH
Proton, proton, proton.
You were an unwanted, obsolete and outdated brainchild of the Japanese. Singapore didn’t want you. Neither did Thailand nor Indonesia. Yet, inspired by former Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad’s shitty epiphany, we took you in and treated you as one of our own despite your disabilities. We gave you support, love and a new home. We recognised you as one of us, a Malaysian.
And we named you Proton.
During your fledgling years, we supported you even though you were clearly retarded. We had faith in you. We supported you with our hard earned money, hoping that one day, you would be able to walk on your own two feet and make a decent living for yourself. For us, that would suffice.
So many years have passed since then and despite being an adult you still expect us to push you around in a pram. You are incompetent, lazy and above all, you take us for granted. You betray the very people who took you in. And worst of all, you’re selfish and robbing us of other opportunities.
Is this the way you show your love? You damn twit! We should have known better not to pamper you. That was our biggest mistake.
You have the body of a 23-year-old but the brain of a toddler. You were beyond salvation but experts, notably VW, were willing to take a chance. They wanted to make you competitive but you rejected them and imposed unrealistic demands. You wanted them to feed you with a silver spoon. You wanted to leech off them and live the easy life which has been your story thus far. It’s no surprise that VW wasn’t too keen to take you on after learning about your chicanery and how you sucked the life out of us, the very folks who bled for you.
You are nothing more than a blood sucking leech. You dragged yourself into your current predicament. You can either drag yourself out of the gutter or die a deserving death.
We hope it’s latter. We have suffered enough. We love Perodua now, not you.
–
NICHOLAS YEOH is a contributing writer for theCICAK.
Nicholas Yeoh has a penchant for all things salty. He occasionally criticises Barisan Nasional’s governance because he loves Malaysia. There is no other place he’ll call home. Visit his site.
CHUAN ZUI is a graphic artist for theCICAK.
Zui is almost an Otaku but hates big-chested anime characters. He is a twisted weirdo because of his islander kiasuness, a result of living his early childhood in Singapore. Zui is an artist of few words. Visit his site.
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