Malaysian Eminem raps about Muar Chinese
DISCLAIMER: This song is littered with racist and heterosexist remarks. Please do not watch the video or read the English translation below if you think you might feel uncomfortable. theCICAK would like to encourage responsible and healthy debate. Please post your comments below.
MUAR CHINESE (more accurately, Muar Mandarin)
By NAMEWEE
Literal Translation by NICOLE FOO
I’m not a hip-hop kaki (aficionado)
But I want to borrow
Hip-hop’s ability
To let you understand my feelings.
I’m not a kungpo chicken
But I want to let you know
My turbo is also very great
Therefore I want you to stand here
Sit down quietly
Listen to me finish rapping this song.
I am a Muar-ese (or I am from Muar, but the former is more accurate)
I live in Wetex, and across from where I live
There’s a little lane that you can walk through
There’re a lot of Hainanese aunties inside
But no kopi (coffee)
This place is not very big
A very small district
From the Main Road to the Sixth Road
And also Jalan Khalidi
Outstation people come to Muar and find it very amusing
Because the Muar speech
So very the great, so very the strong
It’s extraordinary, and mixed with a lot of things.
Besides the three main races living here,
We’ve also got Bengali
And foreign labour from all over the world
Everyone congregates here
There are a lot of industrial areas nearby.
When it’s Sunday, it’s very “great” (but with a negative connotation, like terrible)
These foreigners will all squeeze into the town district
They climb the stairs for prostitutes
They buy pirated VCDs
If not they’ll be hugging each other
And get into f*ck-ups
You will hear many sounds
A lot of different accents
Some of them even look
A bit geli (disgusting).
But the best representation is still
The Muar Mandarin
Because Muar people speak so great.
(Chorus)
Muar Mandarin, I feel so very satisfied
If you don’t like it
I’ll show you my middle finger
I don’t like to pretend to be decent, I feel very aggressive, fierce
Because my mouth speaks only
Muar Mandarin.
(repeat)
Life here is very simple
When there’s free time, you go stir kopi (coffee)
Feed monkeys in Tanjung
You can even fish at the Muar bridge
There are very few taxis in Muar
But there are a lot of aunties
Holding babies
And feeding them milk.
I’ll take you to the disco
There are these little things (referring to pills)
You eat them
And you’re guaranteed to shake till the late hours of the night.
The next morning you can even go straight to eat dim sum
You can also go to Tanjung
And play Tai Chi with the old folks
Language has no benchmark standards, but with territorial origins
I don’t believe
That you really understand this theory/philosophy
If not why do you go to KL
And learn to speak Cantonese
And think that you’re really a “big stick”
(Second Man In Cantonese: F*ck you ah….)
You have to look up to yourself
You have to have a clear conscience
Don’t be afraid of your own culture
With no integrity
Teochew kuey teow (flat noodle)
Hokkien fried prawn mee
This is our style
Our integrity.
Say it loudly
This is Muar Mandarin.
(Chorus twice)
If you come here
Don’t wonder/don’t get a shock/don’t feel so surprised (more or less a combination of all three)
Because you will see so many Wiras
Driving here and there
This is not because there’s no creativity
It’s only because Wira is cheap
If you wanna change cars
It’s also easier to sell it off.
This is our reality
This is our philosophy
And this is how we express our patriotism
Don’t suspect simply
Don’t hide here and there.
Listen carefully
I’m talking about you
At night after 11 p.m.
There’s a weird phenomenon
You will see a lot of transvestites
Standing by the roadside blowing you a kiss
They dress very sexily
Because they want your business
But some of their thighs are so thick until
They can take penalties
They have nene pok (boobs)
Add on some balls
Some transvestites their penises
Can even become erect
If you stop they will discuss the price with you
If you don’t want
They will even laugh that you don’t have balls.
You say I’m Cina Babi (Chinese pig)
You’re the one who’s pantat, mangkuk, kuih koci
This small place was dependent on the Chinese, who build it
If you’re so great
Then don’t just be good at making tea
If you want me to say you’re great/smart
Then go to Parit Bakar and make furniture lah.
(Chorus four times)
Muar Mandarin, yo, yo
OK, stop, stop, stop.
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